Hello All, and welcome to the next installment of Making my Mark on the world. In this post, I write about my experience with the changing dynamic of a friendship.
It wasn’t so long ago that I met Jane. I wrote about how the events unfolded in my post One way to make a friend. I met Jane through a mutual job. She and I both proctored exams at the testing center. On our first shifts, we had some overlapping time without exams. We had an engaging conversation about our backgrounds. She seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me, and that meant so much to me.
Anyhow, to make the long story short, it took awhile but I finally reached out to Jane and asked her to spend time together. We would go on to hang out several times in the following months. Her texting patterns have always been somewhat avoidant in that she takes awhile to reply, and she sometimes forgets to reply all together. I obviously don’t love this, but no one is perfect. I have been guilty of doing the same things. I like her as a person and enjoyed spending time with her. I blogged about our last get together at the zoo. It was a great time.
She has since moved back home. I have tried to keep in touch with her. Days after the zoo trip, I sent her a thank you and talked about keeping in touch. The reply was a little late, but she did get back to me. She echoed the nice sentiment and enjoyment that I expressed and thanked me for the picture that I shared from the trip. She even sent a cute picture of a Pomeranian that she had just met (love it!). She also established a boundary.
She explicitly stated that she was here for intermittent texts and late responses. Okay. I don’t love this boundary either. However, I respect clear communication. This was extremely clear and laid out what she sees our relationship as going forward.
Since then, I have texted her a couple of times with encouraging messages. I have essentially let her know that I am wishing her the best, and that I look fondly upon our time spent together. There has been no reply in the last few weeks, and that definitely makes me sad. I would love to maintain our friendship, but it seems as though maybe we are not compatible after all. Clearly, what I am looking for is different from what she is looking for.
It also shows that relationships change overtime. I do not like how this relationship has changed, but for now it is a fact. I will still periodically reach out to Jane and attempt to keep an open line of communication. Will I ever hear back from her? I hope so, but I also respect her boundaries.
All of this reaffirms that I need to put myself out there to make more friends.
As always, thank you for reading Making my Mark on the world! In this blog I share my very real experiences with personal development and breaking out of my shell. If you want to read more of these experiences please consider subscribing! I am also interested in developing more varied content. To be determined what exactly that is. In the comments please let me know if there’s anything that you would like to see.
I’ve had this happen too and it can be super hard, I get it :( however, I’ve learned that the people meant to be in my life always come at just the right time, and perhaps this is an invitation to expand your horizons and meet some more friends. :) you can have infinite special friends!