Hello All, and welcome to the next installment of Making my Mark on the world. It has been a bit of a wild time for me lately. I have been struggling with avoidance and motivation. Even things like posts are not coming as naturally to me. There is definitely a drop in my mood level. Therefore, this post takes on a little bit more of a melancholic tone. Yet, my intention is not to be downtrodden. I am highlighting lessons learned and the non-linearity of growth.
I had planned to write a post about the prospects of May and the importance of self-care. Then I made a mistake. To kickoff the month of May, and my scooping sabbatical, I scheduled what I dubbed a “self-care” trip to New York. It is relatively easy to get from DC to New York. There are several ways to do so, and it is not overwhelming for me to plan. Anyhow, the details aren’t super important. What is more important, is that I learned how comprehensive self-care is.
My main objective for the trip was to spend some quality time with friends and to treat myself a little bit. I mostly achieved this. However, I had a snafu. One day, I decided to skip a meal and then get together with my friend at night. This seems innocuous enough, but for me it was ignoring my body’s cues that this would not be a good idea. Sure enough, I felt terrible that night and lost out on some quality time. It is ironic because this was a self-care trip. For increased transparency, I should note that I am withholding a certain level of detail to maintain boundaries. There are parts of this trip that I am not comfortable sharing yet. The main takeaway though is that self-care extends far beyond just the fun parts. It includes everything that I have been writing about in these past months. That is, it includes nutrition, exercise, medical appointments, and much more. It is not just the fun stuff.
Something else also happened. I had expected to come back and start working full time as an exam scorer. However, on this trip, I got an email that my offer to score exams had been rescinded. This came as somewhat of a surprise to me. Just a few days earlier I had received an email welcoming me to the project. Therefore, I thought that I had successfully completed the paperwork and on boarding. I guess not. This hurts, but it is not the end of the world.
All this indicates is that I need to pivot. May can still be a transformative month. In fact, it can be even more transformative than I was planning. I just need to show up for myself and develop a plan. This is a great opportunity to focus on my career and academics. I am going to submit targeted applications to schools and positions that I am interested in. If I need financial security, I can always fall back to scooping for a little while longer. That is not ideal, but it is an option that exists. The road is often not straight. There are twists and turns. I am currently in an unexpected turn. In some ways, I feel like I'm in a hole and searching for the motivation to dig myself out of the hole. I will figure this out, and I will emerge from May stronger.
As always thank you for reading Making my Mark on the world. I wish you all the best. Please consider subscribing to and sharing Making my Mark on the world. Future posts will continue to discuss all aspects of personal wellness and growth. Remember that growth is not always linear or the road is not always straight. Whichever analogy you prefer. Life can be unpredictable.