Am I forgettable?

Challenging a stinging remark from the past

Hello All, and welcome to the next installment of Making my Mark on the world. Today, I share an experience from high school that still impacts me from time to time. 

I’ve talked about my high school experiences and how I struggled to put myself out there in a previous post. A particular anecdote has been coming into my mind lately. I remember during my freshman year, at the start of the spring term, I had to go back to a teacher from the fall term and pick up my work for a continuing project. Those details aren’t too important, but the story really begins when I go to pick my folder. I remember greeting the teacher, and she said something to the extent of “Wait, you weren’t in my class were you.” This was an awkward and disappointing exchange for me. Although, perhaps not surprising given my lack of participation. Anyhow, I shared this with someone that I was close to. What did this person say to me? “You’re a very forgettable person.” That one hurt.

As an aside, I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was actually part of an abusive friendship. That same person above would verbally insult me daily, there was even a brief period of time where he’d consistently slap me in the back of the head. Perhaps, those are stories for another time though. I add this only for context, and to advocate against bullying in all forms. Be kind to people. Make them feel good, rather than lousy. I understand that high school is a tough time, but still bullying is unjustified.

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

This person only called me forgettable once, yet it has stuck with me. I didn’t realize at the time how much I valued relationships. I think that it is how much I value relationships that made this comment so hurtful. I seek to develop healthy, life-long relationships. Being forgettable is antithetical to that. 

These thoughts have been on my mind in part because of Jane moving away. When I was thinking about trying to keep in touch with her, this memory came back to me. Will she forget about the experiences that we had? It is amazing how our subconscious works. Someone moving away triggered my feelings of not being able to build healthy relationships, and subsequently my fear of being forgotten. In fact, Jane has not replied to my goodbye text yet. This is not out of the ordinary for her, she often takes awhile to respond back. However, when she does it is usually a thoughtful and supportive text. This time could be different, but I have done what is in my control to keep an open line of communication. 

Overall, I don’t want to give a hurtful insult from high school power anymore. Am I forgettable? Maybe to some people, but it doesn’t matter. I am committed to growing and Making my Mark on the World. If there is a key takeaway though, don’t let negative words hold you back. Process and sit with the emotions that come up. Talk to someone about them, and then if it is your style, use those words as additional motivation. 

As always, thank you for reading Making my Mark on the world! I am grateful that you are following along with this journey. If you liked this post, please consider subscribing and sharing. There will be more genuine insights and adventures shared.